Inspirational and Inspiring Gifts

Idiots All Over

You will feel better about yourself when you read this...

This week, our phones went dead and I  had to contact the Telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00  p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant  gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that  I didn't see how he would be able to do that since our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report future outages by email. Does YOUR email work  without a telephone line?

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on  the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete he transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it  was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I  signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to  the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they  matched.

I live in a semi-rural area. We  recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: Too  many deer were being hit by cars and she didn't want them to cross there  anymore. I know I've recently been with some of these people...

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She  asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry,  but they only had iceberg.

I was at the airport,  checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything  in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without  my knowledge, how would I know?" She smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it'safe to cross the street. I was crossing with a co-worker of mine when she asked if I  knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when  the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker who is leaving the company due to "downsizing," our  manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

I work with an  individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her  couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

When my wife and I rrived at an automobile dealership to pick up  our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service  department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side  door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door  handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!"  To which he replied, "I know - I already got that  side."

Now... don't you feel better?