My Little Bumblebee

This is a poem I wrote a few days ago about a little girl who was stricken with cancer and her mother who is trying to stay brave for her little bumblebee…

I grab a hold of your hand and I just can’t let it go It’s not right; it’‚s not time “Please God, please no”

I remember the day the doctors told me Their words came out, but I could not hear I choked the breath out of my body as my heart broke into little tears

“Not my baby girl” I screamed out loud “Please not my little bumblebee” She’s all that I have in this world She’s all that means anything to me

Cancer happens to other people Not to my little girl Cancer happens to someone else Not to my blue eyed angel with blonde curls

They told me to prepare for the worst “No,” I screamed, “Your lying!” “Please don’t tell me I’m losing her” “You can’t sit there and tell me she’s dying”

I think back to the past even a few weeks before All the harsh things that I said to you when you spilled some milk on the floor

All the times I was too “busy” to read you that Dr. Suess book I think about the things I never did with you and my body just broke down and shook

Now by your sleeping body I lay next to you in this hospital bed The tears in my eyes make it impossible to see your face clearly As I pray “Please God, not my bumblebee… Take me instead”

She opened her little eyes and looked at me She ran her fingers down my cheek I knew I would die if I could no longer see that face If I could no longer hear her speak

She breathed a little sigh and my little baby said “Mommy, everything will be ok” “If God decides to take me” “He’s promised to let me be your guardian angel and watch over you every day”

“So you see Mommy, you don‚t have to worry” “We never have to say good-bye” And her little hands reached up and wiped the tears streaming down my eyes

I kissed her little forehead and I took her hand in my own I closed my eyes and prayed to God to save her I can’t imagine not seeing her grow

Watching her walk in on her first day of school Smiling as she plays in the mud puddles and making a mess Proudly seeing her graduate college Crying happily at my baby in her wedding dress

Being there when she gives birth Holding her hand through good times and bad “God, please don’t deny her this life” “The life she always should have had”

“There’s so much life in you my little baby” I whispered “You’ve got to hang on” “I give you all my love and strength sweetheart” “So you stay strong”

I lay my head down next to her in this unknowing state Praying God knows how much she means to me How much I need her, how much I love her My little bumblebee…

Author’s Note: Never forget to tell the ones that you love just how much they mean to you. You never know if you have a tomorrow, but you have this moment, you have right now to let them know… that you love them.

By Victoria Benway