Goals

-- Anonymous

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatic: Only 1
Hands already in the air.

Pentecostal: 10
One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None
Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None
Candles only.

Baptists: At least 15

Warning... these lessons contain foul language

Lesson One

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit, and ate it.

Management Lesson - To be sitting doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson Two

-- Written by Max Ehrmann in 1927

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

By Rudyard Kipling If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you; If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or, being …

By Dr. Anthony Fernando PhD.

In today’s materialistic society most of us have been conditioned to make snap judgments about a person’s level of success based on the ’status badges’ that they own and display.

These status badges include the sunglasses they own, the watch on their arm, the car they drive, the handbag they carry and the shoes they wear.

-- By Rick Beneteau

Routinely, I rise out of bed before the birds, and watch the sunlight flood my office every morning. See, I love this time of day! But what I don't love is being rudely rousted out of a deep sleep before my normal rise and shine time, and every day for the past few months I have been.

-- by Jim Rohn

We are not born with courage, but neither are we born with fear.  Maybe some of your fears are brought on by your own experiences, by what someone has told you, by what you've read in the papers. Some fears are valid, like walking alone in a bad part of town at two o'clock in the morning. But once you learn to avoid that situation, you won't need to live in fear of it.

 -- By Brian Dyson

In a university commencement address several years ago, Brian Dyson, CEO of Coca Cola Enterprises, spoke of the relation of work to one's other commitments:

-- by James A. Plambeck, Copyright 1995

A teacher was walking with his students . . .

A bit further along, the road turned to the right around a hill and a steep valley opened before them. The hillside above them was barren and rocky, but across the valley terraces had been built with rocks to hold the earth. A vineyard had been planted on the terraces, and they could see the green color of the vines and even the purple of ripening grapes. He looked across the valley, then sat down on a stone at the edge of the road and taught them.