L-Z

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one’s seen before. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road. If it …

Feb 15, 2018 Nikola Budanovic Dogs have been a part of warfare since the beginning of history. What people usually envisage is a German Shepherd or some other trusty and above all sizeable canine companion – probably not a 4 pound (1.8 kg) female Yorkshire terrier! The terrier, Smoky, indeed proved …

These are actual comments made on students’ report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded (but, boy, are these funny!) 1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. 2. I would not allow this student to breed. 3. Your …

Joe’s had headaches. The doctor said, “Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches.  The bad news is that it will require castration.   You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache.” The only way …

This is a pretty neat story and an interesting thing that few of us know. It’s brief, so please read. (FROM A DOCTOR)   A couple of days ago I was running (I use that term very loosely) on my treadmill, watching a DVD sermon by Louie Giglio… And  I was BLOWN  AWAY! …

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. Keep skunks and bankers at a distance. Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. Words that soak into your ears are whispered… not yelled. Meanness don’t jes’ happen …

A MOTHERS MOTTO: You’re only as happy as your unhappiest child.” — Unknown “If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money.” — Abigail Van Buren (‘Dear Abby’)“Youth fades; love droops, the leaves of friendship fall; A mother’s …

An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane, and he turned to her and asked, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with a fellow passenger.” The little girl, who was drawing some pictures, replied to the total stranger, …

Creator of the “Peanuts” Gang The late Earle Nightingale, writer and publisher of inspirational and motivational newsletters, once told a story about a boy named Sparky.  For Sparky, school was all but impossible.  He failed every subject in the eighth grade.  He flunked physics in high school, getting a grade of zero. Sparky …

Tom is 71years old and loves to fish. Tom was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, ‘Pick me up.’He looked around and couldn’t see anyone. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again,‘Pick me up.’ He looked in the water and there, floating …