Humor

Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, “Fried chicken.” She said I wasn’t funny, but she couldn’t have been right, because everyone else in the class laughed. My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told …

One night four college kids stayed out late, partying and having a good time. They paid no mind to the test they had scheduled for the next day and didn’t study. In the morning, they hatched a plan to get out of taking their test. They covered themselves with grease …

Dwight Nelson recently told a true story about the pastor of his church. He had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and then was afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc. The kitty would not come down. The tree was not sturdy enough to …

A friend just got back from a holiday ski trip to Utah with the kind of story that warms the cockles of anybody’s heart. Conditions were perfect, 12 below, no feeling in the toes, basic numbness all over, the “tell me when we’re having fun” kind of day. One of …

God asked Adam, “What’s wrong with you?” Adam answered, “I’m a little lonely, and don’t have anyone to talk to.” So, God said he was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. God said, “This person will gather food for you, and when you …

Two friends were walking through the woods when they thought they heard something. They turned around and saw a big black bear coming towards them. Both men started to run when one of them stopped to change into tennis shoes. The second man said ‘You don’t have time to change …

A man was driving along the motorway when he saw two penguins standing in the hard shoulder. They looked lost, so he picked them up and put them in the backseat of his car. He then goes to the petrol station to fill up and whilst he is there the …

One day in the jungle a chimpanzee invented some tools to eat his dinner. One tool was a flat stick sharpened along one edge, this he used to cut his food. The other was a stick with four smaller sticks attached to the end each sharpened to a point. He …

A Russian scientist and a Czech scientist had spent their lives studying the grizzly bear. Each year they petitioned their respective governments to allow them to go to Yellowstone to study the bears. Finally their request was granted and they immediately flew to New York and on west to Yellowstone …

An old Native American wanted a loan for $500.  The banker pulled out the loan application.“What are you going to do with the money?” he asks the Indian. “Buy Silver, make jewelry, and sell it,” was the response. “What have you got for collateral?” “Don’t know collateral,” replied the Indian …