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Christmas Questions

Once upon a time, a perfect and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their together was, of course, perfect.

One snowy, stormy Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.

There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of . Not wanting to any on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the .

Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated. The perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident.

Question: Who was the survivor?

Answer: The perfect woman survived. She’s the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.

stop reading here… that is the end of the .

Men keep reading.

So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.

Men Only… Keep reading.

By the way, if you’re a woman and you’re still reading… this illustrates another point: “Women never listen.”

 

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More Questions About Christmas

Q: If Santa doesn’t have to age, then why has he become old?
A: He only appears to be old. He’s an undercover kid.

Q: How can a sleigh possibly fly through the air?
A: If you were being pulled by eight flying reindeer, wouldn’t you fly too?

Q: Why do reindeer have red noses?
A: They are not equipped with ABS and thus tend to bump into things on slippery surfaces. This is why Santa is often seen with a red nose (the sleigh doesn’t have an , either).

Q: Why do we wish people a “Merry Christmas” instead of a “Happy Christmas”?
A: The two are about the same, but with “Merry Christmas” an extra twinkle is seen in the eyes.

Q: Why is a Christmas tree that has been chopped down called a “live Christmas tree?”
A: It’s dead but doesn’t know it, and yet it’s having the time of its life.

Q: How many gifts can Santa Claus’s bag hold?
A: One less than infinity. Why one less? Because there’s a limit to everything.

Q: Is there really a Mrs. Santa Claus?
A: The best way to know for sure is to ask Santa Claus next time you see him.

Q: Why do we hear so many bells at Christmas time?
A: Because so many people ring them.

Q: Why do so many people ring bells at Christmas time?
A: For the poor, for the joy, and because a bell can say what words can’t say.

Q: What can’t words say?
A: The moment you wake up on Christmas morning, listen carefully. You may hear then what words can’t say.

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