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Christian Light Bulbs

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

: Only 1
Hands already in the air.

Pentecostal: 10
One to change the bulb, and nine to against the of darkness.

Presbyterians: None
Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None
Candles only.

Baptists: At least 15
One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

Episcopalians: 3
One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons: 5
One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians:
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb , including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists: Undetermined
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

: 6
One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

: None
Lutherans don’t believe in change.

Amish:
What is a light bulb?

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