Cards You Will Never See At Hallmark

“I’ve always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.
After having met you, I’ve changed my mind.”

“Looking back over the years that we’ve been together, I can’t help but wonder: What was I thinking?”

“As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you’re not here to ruin it for me.”

“As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you’ve given me. Like the need for therapy…”

“Thanks for being a part of my life! I never new what evil was before this!”

“Money is tight, times are hard, here’s your Christmas card!”

“Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, I would like you to take this knife out of my back. You’ll probably need it again.”

“Someday I hope to get married, but not to you.”

“I just want you to know that I’m sorry for what happened, especially since you survived.”

“Happy Birthday! You look great for your age… Almost Lifelike!

“Congratulations on getting married! It’s not every day you decide to ruin your life!”

“When we were together, you always said you’d die for me. Now that we’ve broken up, I think it’s time you kept your promise.”

“Just remember… Jesus Loves You. Everyone else thinks you’re a jerk!”

“I knew the day would come when you would leave with my best friend. So here’s his leash, water bowl and chew toys.”

“We have been friends for a very long time, let’s say we call it quits.”

“I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost like you’re here.”

“If you ever need a friend, buy a dog.”

“If you didn’t have any money, I’d still love you. And miss you very much.”

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