An elderly woman hurried to the pharmacy to get medication, got back to her car, and found that she had locked her keys inside. She found an old rusty coat hanger left on the ground. She looked at it and said, “I don’t know how to use this.” She bowed her …
Read More »Actual Complaints Received By “Thomas Cook Vacations” From Dissatisfied Customers
— Becky Day 1. “On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food.” 2. “They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax.” 3. …
Read More »Late Nite Catechism in Chicago
Late Nite Catechism is the kind of title that sends an intelligent person running. “Oh, no. Not another show about Catholic nuns. Please. Whoopi was enough.” Don’t run too fast. Yes, Late Nite Catechism is a religious comedy. Yes, it features a woman dressed in a black habit. And, yes, …
Read More »Mad Trombonist
(August 1998, Uruguay) In a misplaced moment of inspiration, Paolo Esperanza, bass-trombonist with the Symphonica Maya de Uruguay, decided to make his own contribution to the cannon shots fired during a performance of Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture at an outdoor children’s concert. In complete disregard of common sense, he dropped a …
Read More »Ranch Jokes
Three bulls heard that the rancher was going to bring another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them. The first bull says, “Boys, we all know I’ve been here 5 years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would …
Read More »Old Dogs
One day an old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old German Shepherd thinks, “Oh, oh! I’m in deep doo-doo now!” Noticing some bones on the …
Read More »A Man’s Age Determined by a Trip to Home Depot
You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house — Mowing the lawn, putting in a new fence, painting the living room or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dust, lawn clippings, dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know …
Read More »Two Sisters and a Bull
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed …
Read More »One Tired Dog
An older, tired-looking dog, wandered into my yard one day. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of. He calmly came over to me and I gave him a few pats on his head. Then he followed me …
Read More »Wrong Car
TRUE, BUT FUNNY, STORY An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, “I have a gun, …
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