General

Mad Trombonist

bass trombone player

(August 1998, Uruguay) In a misplaced moment of inspiration, Paolo Esperanza, bass-trombonist with the Symphonica Maya de Uruguay, decided to make his own contribution to the cannon shots fired during a performance of Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture at an outdoor children’s concert. In complete disregard of common sense, he dropped a …

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Puns For the Educated

laughing dog in flowers

1.  King Ozymandias of Assyria ( and Egypt ) was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates , the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. …

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A Tribute to Charles M. Schulz (1922 – 2000)

Peanuts creator Charles Schultz

Creator of the “Peanuts” Gang The late Earle Nightingale, writer and publisher of inspirational and motivational newsletters, once told a story about a boy named Sparky.  For Sparky, school was all but impossible.  He failed every subject in the eighth grade.  He flunked physics in high school, getting a grade of zero. Sparky …

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A Bad Day

There I was is sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig. "Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears. "Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying." "This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my old lady in bed with the gardener and then my dog bit me."

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A Bad Day

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig. “Well, whatcha gonna do about it?” he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears. “Come on, man,” the biker …

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Joe’s Headaches

Humorous salesman story

The doctor said, “Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache.” The only way to …

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Castaway Dreams

A not so true story, but an astute observation nonetheless… One day a man decided to retire. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life… that is, until the ship sank. He soon found himself on an island with no other people, …

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Repaint

There was a Scottish painter named Smokey Macgregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further. As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the Baptist Church decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of one of their biggest buildings. Smokey put in a bid and, because his price was so low, he got the job. So, he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with turpentine.

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