Lists

Puns For the Educated

laughing dog in flowers

1.  King Ozymandias of Assyria ( and Egypt ) was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates , the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. …

Read More »

It’s been a tough year

Fries and a double burger

The economy is so bad…  I ordered a burger at McDonald’s and the kid behind the counter asked,  “Can you afford fries with that?” I got a ‘pre-declined’ credit card in the mail. CEO’s are now playing miniature golf. If the bank returns your check marked  “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if …

Read More »

Gates & GM

Bill Gates with his early computer

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on..  A long while back, at a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,  ‘If GM had kept up with technology …

Read More »

Cops & Teachers

Police Officer on campus

These are actual comments made on students’ report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded (but, boy, are these funny!) 1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. 2. I would not allow this student to breed. 3. Your …

Read More »

Advice from An Ol’ Farmer

old farmer in field of wildflowers

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. Keep skunks and bankers at a distance. Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. Words that soak into your ears are whispered… not yelled. Meanness don’t jes’ happen …

Read More »

Mental Age Test

funny cats

This test was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University. Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without making a mistake.  The average person over 50 years of age cannot do it. 1.  This is this cat. 2.  This is is …

Read More »