Jokes

Ranch Jokes

Bulls in the field

Three bulls heard that the rancher was going to bring another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them. The first bull says, “Boys, we all know I’ve been here 5 years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would …

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Old Dogs

Old German Shepherd

One day an old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old German Shepherd thinks, “Oh, oh! I’m in deep doo-doo now!”  Noticing some bones on the …

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It’s been a tough year

Fries and a double burger

The economy is so bad…  I ordered a burger at McDonald’s and the kid behind the counter asked,  “Can you afford fries with that?” I got a ‘pre-declined’ credit card in the mail. CEO’s are now playing miniature golf. If the bank returns your check marked  “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if …

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Balance in all things

Virgina mountain tops at sunset

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him resting on the seventh day . He inquired, “Where have you been?” God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, “Look, Michael. Look what I’ve made.” Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, “What is it?” “It’s …

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The Porch

Old white porch

A blonde teenage girl, wanting to earn some extra money for the Summer, decided to hire herself out as a ‘handy-woman’ and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her …

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Senile Serenity

a group of happy retirees

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, ‘How old was your husband?’  ’98,’ she replied… Two years older than me’   ‘So you’re 96,’ the undertaker commented…   She responded, ‘Hardly worth going home, is it?’ ~~~~~~~ Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old …

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