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Horses

Ranch Jokes

Bulls in the field

Three bulls heard that the rancher was going to bring another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them. The first bull says, “Boys, we all know I’ve been here 5 years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would …

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Advice from An Ol’ Farmer

old farmer in field of wildflowers

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. Keep skunks and bankers at a distance. Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. Words that soak into your ears are whispered… not yelled. Meanness don’t jes’ happen …

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Friends in Heaven

cowboy with his dog and horse

-- Author unknown

An old cowboy was riding his trusty horse followed by his faithful dog along an unfamiliar road. The man was enjoying the new scenery, when he suddenly remembered dying, and realized that the dog beside him had been dead for years, as had his horse.

Confused, he wondered what was happening, and where the trail was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall that looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch topped by a golden letter "H" that glowed in the sunlight. Standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like gold.

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Keep Your Dream

horses on a ranch

I have a friend named Monty Roberts who owns a horse ranch in San Ysidro. He has let me use his house to put on fund-raising events to raise money for youth at risk programs.

The last time I was there he introduced me by saying, “I want to tell you why I let Jack use my horse. It all goes back to a story about a young man who was the son of an itinerant horse trainer who would go from stable to stable, race track to race track, farm to farm and ranch to ranch, training horses. As a result, the boy’s high school career was continually interrupted. When he was a senior, he was asked to write a paper about what he wanted to be and do when he grew up.

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Secretariat proves he’s a unique breed

Secretariat racing

By Bruce Lowitt


Realistically speaking, the 1973 Belmont Stakes wasn't a horse race -- unless you count the four thoroughbreds racing for second place. This third jewel of the Triple Crown was the coronation of Secretariat as the greatest race horse of all time.

He had won the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness, each time beating Sham by 21/2 lengths.

Now it was June9. Most of the bettors in the crowd of nearly 70,000 at Belmont Park expected the first Triple Crown winner since Citation in 1948. Secretariat was a 1-10 favorite.

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A Horse’s Tail

two horses hind ends

-- Author unknown



Does the statement, "Because we've always done it that way"... ring any bells?



The U.S. standard railroad gauge (the distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number.



Why was that gauge used?



Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US Railroads.



Why did the English build them like that?

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