Humor

TRUE, BUT FUNNY, STORY An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, “I have a gun, …

1. Save all bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it. 2. If you do run your car into a ditch, don’t panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don’t …

1.  King Ozymandias of Assyria ( and Egypt ) was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates , the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. …

The economy is so bad…  I ordered a burger at McDonald’s and the kid behind the counter asked,  “Can you afford fries with that?” I got a ‘pre-declined’ credit card in the mail. CEO’s are now playing miniature golf. If the bank returns your check marked  “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if …

By Mac AndersonFounder, Simple Truths Not long ago I was on a Southwest Airlines flight when a flight attendant announced, “We have a very special person on board today. He’s 99 years old, he’s celebrating his birthday, and this is the first time he’s ever flown!” As you can imagine …

“Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad,” gushed son number one. ‘Sorry I’m running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and I didn’t have time to get you a gift.”  “Not to worry,” said the father. “The important thing is that we’re …

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on..  A long while back, at a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,  ‘If GM had kept up with technology …

A mother was concerned about her kindergarten son, Timmy, walking to school. He didn’t want his mother to walk with him. She wanted to give him the feeling that he had some independence but yet know that he was safe. So she had an idea of how to handle it. …

If you can start the day without caffeine,  If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,  If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,  If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,  If you can understand when your loved …

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him resting on the seventh day . He inquired, “Where have you been?” God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, “Look, Michael. Look what I’ve made.” Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, “What is it?” “It’s …