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Will Rogers in old black & white photo

Will Rogers Humorous Observations

Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash with his best friend, Wylie Post, was probably the greatest political sage this country ever has known.

Enjoy some of Will’s humorous observations on Life…

1. Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.

2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

3.. There are two theories to arguing with a woman… Neither works.

4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

5. Always drink upstream from the herd.

6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.

8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

10. If you’re riding’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.

11. Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin’ it back.

12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

13. Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.

14. If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. 

15. Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people that they don’t like.

16. Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

17. All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that’s an alibi for my ignorance.

18. The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.

19. Common sense ain’t common.

20. Rumor travels faster, but it don’t stay put as long as truth.

21. I never met a man that I didn’t like.

22. Everyone is ignorant, only on different subjects.

23. When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

24. If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of Congress?

25. A fool and his money are soon elected.

26. The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

27. Lead your life so you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.

28. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

29. It is better for some one to think you’re a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

30. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

31. It takes a lifetime to build a good reputation, but you can lose it in a minute.

32. Buy land. They ain’t making any more of the stuff.

33. What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.

34. Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.

35. It’s not what we don’t know that hurts. It’s what we know that ain’t so.

36. When you’re through learning, you’re through.

Worldly advice and witticisms by Will Rogers

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