Humor

Funny short stories and jokes. Enjoy humorous stories to brighten your day.

Understanding Engineers

Blueprints and Engineering Items

Understanding Engineers #1 Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?” The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the …

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Why Athletes Can’t Have Regular jobs

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:“I wan’ all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan’ all the kids to copulate me.” 2. New Orleans Saints RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:  “I want to rush for 1,000 …

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What Do Women Really Want?

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year …

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Wrong Funeral

Funeral story at a Christian Church

I was at the funeral of my dearest friend, my mother. She finally had lost her long battle with cancer. The hurt was so intense; I found it hard to breathe at times. Always supportive, Mother clapped loudest at my school plays, held the box of tissues while listening to …

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$2 Bill at Taco Bell

— Author unknown On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold are a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about …

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Words To Live By. Number 27 Is Gold.

Walker Lamond is the author of Rules for My Unborn Son, in which he introduces this collection of traditional, humorous, and urbane fatherly. 1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them. 2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message. 3. Don’t …

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Cowboy at the Pearly Gates

Clouds representing funny short story about pearly gates

A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.  ‘Have you ever done anything of particular merit?’  St. Peter asked.  ‘Well, I can think of one thing,’ the cowboy offered.  ‘On a trip to the Black Hills out in  South Dakota , I came upon a gang of  Bikers who were threatening a …

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Proofreading is Dying

Actual headlines and that appeared in newspapers across the country. Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge. He probably IS the battery charge! Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter. Say, whaaat?! Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says. Really? Ya think? Police Begin Campaign to Run Down …

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Pass The Baked Beans

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside …

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My Favorite Animal

Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, “Fried chicken.” She said I wasn’t funny, but she couldn’t have been right, because everyone else in the class laughed. My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told …

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