Dialogue

Long ago, Jacques Chirac, The French President, was sitting in his office when his telephone rings. “Hallo, Mr. Chirac!” a heavily accented voice said. “This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!” …

The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question, ”Why didn’t we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?” I replied: “I …

Words can clarify, prove, confuse, destroy, be helpful, wound etc.  In our search for God, and our understanding of faith, words can be all these and more. Ultimately, as human beings we are finite, and when it come to God, we need to walk humbly and in awe. Enjoy! _____________________ …

Employee: Excuse me sir, may I talk to you? Boss: Sure, come on in. What can I do for you? Employee: Well sir, as you know, I have been an employee of this prestigious firm for over ten years. Boss: Yes.  Employee: I won’t beat around the bush. Sir, I …

Jesse hated this job. Jesse was a chicken plucker.  He stood on a line in a chicken factory and spent his days pulling the feathers off of dead chickens. It wasn’t much of a job. But at the time, Jesse didn’t think he was much of a person. His father …

TEACHER: Why are you late?STUDENT: Class started before I got here. —- TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.MARIA: Here it is.TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?CLASS: Maria.  —-  TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to …

Author Unknown HEAVEN JOKE After dying in a car crash, three friends go to Heaven for an orientation session. They are all asked the same question: “When you are in your casket and family and friends are mourning over you, what would you like to hear them say about you?” …

— Author Unknown  Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven, where he is met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.  The gates are closed, however, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper. St. Peter says “Well, Forrest, it’s certainly good to see you. We’ve heard so many good things about …

I was at the funeral of my dearest friend, my mother. She finally had lost her long battle with cancer. The hurt was so intense; I found it hard to breathe at times. Always supportive, Mother clapped loudest at my school plays, held the box of tissues while listening to …

— Author unknown On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold are a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about …