An elderly man in Louisiana owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, to look it over, as he hadn't been there for a while.
Before he went, he grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people.
Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves, and give milk to support the farmer I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life... you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty." And God agreed.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A SOUTH AFRICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
They get stolen, so you blame the previous regime and steal someone else's cows and shoot the owner.
A ZIMBABWEAN CORPORATION
A farmer has two cows.
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-- Author Unknown
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.
-- Author Unknown
A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package. “What food might this contain?”
He was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.
Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning. “There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!”
A Parable-like Story -- Author Unknown
A young man applied for a job as a farmhand. When the farmer asked for his qualifications, he said, "I can sleep through a storm."
This puzzled the farmer... but he liked the young man. So he hired him.
A few weeks later, the farmer and his wife were awakened in the night by a violent storm ripping through the valley. He leapt out of bed and called for his new hired hand, but the young man was sleeping soundly.
Inspire 21 Inspiring Words for the 21st Century