Happiness

An old man lived in the village. The whole village was tired of him; he was always gloomy, he constantly complained and was always in a bad mood. The longer he lived, the viler he became and more poisonous were his words. People did their best to avoid him because …

Why do we miss Rodney Dangerfield? Because... One of history's funniest comedians said this. ---- My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home! A hooker once told me she had a headache. I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service. If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

Mellen-Thomas Benedict is an artist who survived a near-death experience in 1982. He was dead for over an hour and a half. During that time, he rose up out of his body and went into the light. Curious about the universe, he was taken far into the remote depths of existence, and even beyond, into the energetic void of nothingness behind the Big Bang. Eminent near-death experience researcher Dr. Kenneth Ring has said, "His story is one of the most remarkable I have encountered in my extensive research on near-death experiences."

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A Profoundly Inspiring Near-Death Experience Story
ÔÇ¿-- A True Story by Mellen-Thomas Benedict

-- Author unknown

An old cowboy was riding his trusty horse followed by his faithful dog along an unfamiliar road. The man was enjoying the new scenery, when he suddenly remembered dying, and realized that the dog beside him had been dead for years, as had his horse.

Confused, he wondered what was happening, and where the trail was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall that looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch topped by a golden letter "H" that glowed in the sunlight. Standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like gold.

Wish Happy New Year to those Near and Dear On December 31st, when the clock strikes midnight, people all over the world cheer and wish each other a Happy New Year. For some, this event is more than a change of a calendar... it symbolizes the beginning of a better tomorrow. So, if you're looking forward to a better year ahead, spread some joy with some of these well-known, wonderful New Year Greetings. Irish Toast In the New Year, may your right hand always be stretched out in friendship, never in want. Charles Lamb Of all sound of all bells, the most solemn and touching is the peal which rings out the Old Year. Movie: "When Harry Met Sally", Harry Burns

-- By Pete Barkelew, Inspire21.com founder These 30 "Positive Daily Affirmations" were created to help train the mind to eliminate many of the mental stumbling blocks people have in life and business. The idea is to read one each day of every month to help manage stress, deal with others and improve your outlook on life. Day 1: QUIT PROCRASTINATION Human beings tend to put things off, like menial tasks and chores. The easiest way to handle any task is to tackle it right away, without hesitation. Volumes have been written on the virtues of "ACT NOW!" I will eliminate a lot of my day-to-day aggravations and concerns by simply doing the things I'd normally put off immediately. Handle it once; get it out of the way. Day 2: QUIT TARDINESS

Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash with his best friend, Wylie Post, was probably the greatest political sage this country ever has known.

Enjoy some of Will's humorous observations on Life...

1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

3.. There are two theories to arguing with a woman... Neither works.

4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

5. Always drink upstream from the herd.

6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.

-- Author unknown In the city of Chicago, one cold, dark night, a blizzard was setting in. A little boy was selling newspapers on the corner, the people were in and out of the cold. The little boy was so cold that he wasn't trying to sell many papers. He walked up to a policeman and said, "Mister, you wouldn't happen to know where a poor boy could find a warm place to sleep tonight would you? You see, I sleep in a box up around the corner there and down the alley and it's awful cold in there, at night. Sure would be nice to have a warm place to stay." The policeman looked down at the little boy and said, "You go down the street to that big white house and you knock on the door. When they come out the door you just say "John 3:16" and they will let you in."

-- Author Unknown When I was a kid, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my mom and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that biscuit and eat every bite! When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burned biscuits."

-- By David J. Pollay How often do you let other peopleÔÇÖs nonsense change your mood? Do you let a bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss, or an insensitive employee ruin your day? Unless youÔÇÖre the Terminator, youÔÇÖre probably set back on your heels. However, the mark of your success is how quickly you can refocus on whatÔÇÖs important in your life. ÔÇ¿ÔÇ¿ Sixteen years ago I learned this lesson. And I learned it in the back of a New York City taxi cab. HereÔÇÖs what happened.