L-Z

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.

A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom.

Few women past the age of 40 give a hoot what you might think about her or what she's doing.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people.

Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

Nowhere will you find more truth and humor than the innocence of a child. Read what some children have said when approached with unique situations. ~~~~~~~ While I sat in the reception area of my doctor’s office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As …

In his beautiful book, “I Shall Not Want,” Robert Ketchum tells of a Sunday School teacher who asked her group of children if anyone could quote the entire 23rd Psalm. A golden-haired, four-and-a-half-year-old girl was among those who raised their hands. A bit skeptical, the teacher asked if she could …

Before you read the jokes on this page about Happiness...
If you really want to be happy, don't worry... this is just for you!
Listen to this little tune Bobby Mcferrin wrote (and sang)... just for you...
"Dont Worry, Be Happy!"

On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves, and give milk to support the farmer I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life... you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty." And God agreed.

Warning... these lessons contain foul language

Lesson One

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit, and ate it.

Management Lesson - To be sitting doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson Two

By Priscilla Leonar

Forget each kindness that you do
As soon as you have done it.
Forget the praise that falls to you
The moment you have won it.
Forget the slander that you hear
Before you can repeat it.
Forget each slight, each spite, each sheer
Wherever you may meet it.

-- By Douglas Malloch

If you can't be a pine on the top of the hill,
Be a scrub in the valley - but be
The best little scrub by the side of the hill;
Be a bush if you can't be a tree.

If you can't be a bush, be a bit of the grass,
Some highway happier make;
If you can't be a muskie, then just be a bass -
But the liveliest bass in the lake!

We can't all be captains, we got to be crew,
There's something for all of us here,
There's big work to do, and there's lesser to do,

-- By John Greenleaf Whittier