Celebrity

Rodney Dangerfield One-Liners

funny look from Rodney Dangerfield

Why do we miss Rodney Dangerfield? Because... One of history's funniest comedians said this. ---- My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home! A hooker once told me she had a headache. I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service. If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

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Famous New Year Wishes

Happy New Year

Wish Happy New Year to those Near and Dear On December 31st, when the clock strikes midnight, people all over the world cheer and wish each other a Happy New Year. For some, this event is more than a change of a calendar... it symbolizes the beginning of a better tomorrow. So, if you're looking forward to a better year ahead, spread some joy with some of these well-known, wonderful New Year Greetings. Irish Toast In the New Year, may your right hand always be stretched out in friendship, never in want. Charles Lamb Of all sound of all bells, the most solemn and touching is the peal which rings out the Old Year. Movie: "When Harry Met Sally", Harry Burns

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Nestle, not Wrestle!

Billy Graham and Oprah Winfrey

-- Author unknown Last year I watched Billy Graham being interviewed by Oprah Winfrey on television. Oprah told him that in her childhood home, she use to watch him preach on a little black and white TV while sitting on a linoleum floor. She went on to the tell viewers that, in his lifetime, Billy has preached to twenty-million people around the world, not to mention the countless numbers who have heard him whenever his crusades are broadcast. When she asked if he got nervous before facing a crowd, Billy replied humbly, "No, I don't get nervous before crowds, but I did today before I was going to meet with you." Oprah's show is broadcast to twenty-million people every day. She is comfortable with famous stars and celebrities but seemed in awe of Dr. Billy Graham.

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Will Rogers Humorous Observations

Will Rogers in old black & white photo

Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash with his best friend, Wylie Post, was probably the greatest political sage this country ever has known.

Enjoy some of Will's humorous observations on Life...

1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

3.. There are two theories to arguing with a woman... Neither works.

4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

5. Always drink upstream from the herd.

6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.

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Stuart Hamblen Meets Billy

Record album cover of Stuart Hamblen

Back in the 50's there was a well known radio host/comedian/song writer in Hollywood named Stuart Hamblin* who was noted for his drinking,womanizing, partying, etc.

One of his bigger hits at the time was "I won't go hunting with you Jake, but I'll go chasing women."

One day, along came a young preacher holding a tent revival. Hamblin had him on his radio show presumably to poke fun at him.

In order to gather more material for his show, Hamblin showed up at one of the revival meetings.

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Good News

Pro golfer De Vincenzo

Good news or bad news? It depends on how you see things. You can be bitter after being cheated. Or you can choose to move on with your life…

Robert De Vincenzo, the great Argentine golfer, once won a tournament and, after receiving the check and smiling for the cameras, he went to the clubhouse and prepared to leave. Some time later, he walked alone to his car in the parking lot and was approached by a young woman.

She congratulated him on his victory and then told him that her child was seriously ill and near death. She did not know how she could pay the doctor’s bills and hospital expenses.

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Ryan Gosling Breaks Up Fight in NYC

Ryan Gosling's an Academy Award nominated actor, part-time musician, dog lover and now, a crime fighter.

A viral video that spread like wild fire on Monday captures the 30-year-old brooding star breaking up a street fight in the middle of a New York intersection.

As a number of other people try to tear two quarrelling men apart, Gosling suddenly appears and walks toward the altercation on 8th Street in the East Village. He drops his belongings on the street and manages to separate the two men while trying to peacefully play referee...

see full article at NYDailyNews.com

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Kate Winslet Saves Richard Branson’s Mom

August 22, 2011--When Hurricane Irene stormed through the Caribbean, Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson's Necker Island home was struck by lightning, resulting in a massive fire.

The home was filled with as many as 20 guests, who were visiting for a wedding. Many of Branson's relatives were inside, including his daughter, nephews, nieces and his 90-year-old mother. Luckily, Kate Winslet was there as well. Winslet lifted Richard Branson's mom and carried her out of the home while it was still ablaze.

The other guests were able to make it to safety as well. Branson told CBS News that although he lost his home to the fire, he was just grateful that his family and friends were okay.

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