General A-K

The Binch: A Dr. Seuss Parody

Boy reading funny stories

By SaxonDawg Every U down in Uville liked U.S. a lot, But the Binch, who lived Far East of Uville, did not. The Binch hated U.S! the whole U.S. way! Now don’t ask me why, for nobody can say, It could be his turban was screwed on too tight. Or …

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What I Have Learned

Andy Rooney at his typewriter

By Andy Rooney

I Have Learned that...

... the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

... when you're in love, it shows.

... just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day.

... having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

... being kind is more important than being right.

... you should never say no to a gift from a child.

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The Entrepreneurs Prayer

By Rick Beneteau - used with permission

As I awaken with the gift of yet another day and prepare for the tasks at hand, I offer up this most ardent prayer:

I pray for continued clarity of purpose so that I may hold my vision steady and keep my focus on the needs and success of others, which in turn shall bring me my success.

I pray for the wisdom to expect abundance in my life, that it surrounds me and is available for the taking and to be shameless and unapologetic upon its receipt, for I deserve abundance.

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The Window Salesman

By Gary Hanley

Allow me to introduce you to Terry, a window salesman from England. If I take you back about 20 years, you'd know Terry as a complete newbie... a not-long-since teenager who was wet behind the ears in just about everything he attempted. The kind of person who couldn't sell false teeth to his own Granny, let alone compete with the other salespeople in the industry. You know, the kind who could sell snow to Eskimos.

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The Value of Time

Anonymous

To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.

To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.

To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train.

To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident.

To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics.

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Famous Failures

Anonymous

Einstein was 4 years old before he could speak.

Iassc Newton did poorly in grade school and was considered "unpromising."

When Thomas Edison was a youngster, his teacher told him he was too stupid to learn anything. He was counseled to go into a field where he might succeed by virtue of his pleasant personality.

F.W. Woolworth got a job in a dry goods store when he was 21, but his boss would not permit him to wait on customers because he "didn't have enough sense to close a sale."

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Wealth, Success and Love

Author Unknown
 

A woman came out of her house and saw three old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them.

Then she said, "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat."

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Commitment

By Olehile Fischer Thataone
 

I will never forget what my old headmaster told taught me. Normally when you are only 15 years of age you do not remember most of the things that are preached by your teachers. But, this particular story is one such lesson that I will never forget. Every time I drift off course, I get reminded of this story.

It was a normal Monday morning at an assembly, and he was addressing the students on important things in life and about committing ourselves to what is important to us. This is how the story went:

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