Entertainment

"Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view."

"I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce."

"I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public."

"Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental."

"I will always cherish the intial misconceptions I had about you."

"Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial."

Occasionally, airline attendants and pilots make an effort to make the “in-flight safety lecture” and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

Doug Flutie threw a last-second TD pass to Gerard Phelan that gave Boston College a 47-45 win over Miami in 1984, one of the most memorable moments in University history.

By Reid Oslin

Dan Davis: Here's your ballgame, folks, as Flutie takes the snap...He drops straight back...has some time...Now he scrambles away from one hit...looks...uncorks a deep one for the end zone...Phelan is down there...

Gino Cappelletti: Oh, he got it!

Davis: Did he get it?

Cappelletti: He got it!

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

-- Author Unknown

A few months before I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around to welcome me into the world a few months later.

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A Man's Perspective)

I know I'm never going to understand women.
I can't understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor...
"It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."

A TRUE STORY -- by a Viet Nam Veterans' Wife

Better than paper towels and a lot less expensive... Coffee filters... Who knew!
And you can buy 1,000 at the Dollar Stores for almost nothing, even the large ones.

1. Cover bowls or dishes when cooking in the microwave. Coffee filters make excellent covers.

2. Clean windows, mirrors, and chrome. Coffee filters are lint-free so they'll leave windows sparkling.

3. Protect China... by separating your good dishes with a coffee filter between each dish.

Attributed to George Carlin

We have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less common sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

Author Unknown

Close your eyes and go back... Before the Internet, or the MAC...
Before semi automatics and crack...

Way back. I'm talkin' 'bout...

Hide and seek at dusk. Sittin' on the porch, The Good Humor Man, and Red Light, Green Light.

Chocolate milk, Lunch tickets, Penny candy in a brown paper bag.
Playin' Pinball at the corner store. Hopscotch, butterscotch, doubledutch, Jacks, kickball, dodgeball, Mother May I? Red Rover and Roly Poly.