General A-K

HAVE A HOLIDAY "HO-HO-HO!"

This guy goes into his dentist's office, because something is wrong with his mouth. After a brief examination, the dentist exclaims, "Holy Smoke! That plate I installed in your mouth about six months ago has nearly completely corroded! What on earth have you been eating?"

-- Author unknown

A man was exploring caves by the seashore. In one of the caves he found a canvas bag with a bunch of hardened clay balls. It was like someone had rolled clay balls and left them out in the sun to bake.

They didn't look like much, but they intrigued the man, so he took the bag out of the cave with him. As he strolled along the beach, he would throw the clay balls one at a time out into the ocean as far as he could.

-- By Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the United States of America

It is the duty of nations as well as of men to own their dependence upon the overruling power of God; to confess their sins and transgressions in humble sorrow, yet with assured hope that genuine repentance will lead to mercy and pardon; and to recognize the sublime truth, announced in the Holy Scriptures and proven by all history, that those nations are blessed whose God is the Lord.

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

-- Author Unknown

A few months before I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around to welcome me into the world a few months later.

-- By Kathy Anne Harris

It was blistering hot even though the sun had set two hours earlier.

Prone on the ground, Seth crawled through dry grass and dusty earth. Soil and weeds clung to his clothing. Gnats and mosquitos clamored on skin that the dirt and leaves left exposed.

In his eyes was reflected the hot glare from exploding mortar shells--and the haunting glow of flares as they blossomed in the canopy of night. Heat from the fires singed his lungs and fanned crisply on his flesh.

Yet there was another fire that blazed bright. And even his fellow soldiers couldn't see that deeply into his mind and heart--to the flame of fear.

A True Story -- Author unknown

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Wedding dress $5000. Wedding Tux rental-$100.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.

You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your oyster.

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."

This is a very moving story that I stumbled on while searching for true stories. I wrote the author, wife and mother of the story for permission to run it here. She graciously accepted and told me about her site which looks out for children, and I've included that info below. Please take time to read this, and reflect on it, because it pounds home the reason for cherishing the ones we love, and telling them so, as often as possible.

A TRUE STORY -- by Jody Lundie