Family

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed …

A mother was concerned about her kindergarten son, Timmy, walking to school. He didn’t want his mother to walk with him. She wanted to give him the feeling that he had some independence but yet know that he was safe. So she had an idea of how to handle it. …

A MOTHERS MOTTO: You’re only as happy as your unhappiest child.” — Unknown “If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money.” — Abigail Van Buren (‘Dear Abby’)“Youth fades; love droops, the leaves of friendship fall; A mother’s …

The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question, ”Why didn’t we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?” I replied: “I …

In Your Senior Years, Consider This… ~ Your kids are becoming you… but your grandchildren are perfect! ~ Going out is good. Coming home is better! ~ You forget names. But it’s OK, because other people forgot they even knew you! ~ You realize you’re never going to be really …

A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee, when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash. Behind …

A man feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.    Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem.  The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform …

---- TEACHER: Why are you late? STUDENT: Class started before I got here. ---- TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America. MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS: Maria. ---- TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. ---- TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' TEACHER: No, that's wrong. GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. (I Love this child) ---- TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O. ----

Nowhere will you find more truth and humor than the innocence of a child. Read what some children have said when approached with unique situations. ~~~~~~~ While I sat in the reception area of my doctor’s office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As …

A True Story by Chris

My first wife used to cover me with red lipstick kisses before we made love. I must admit, it really turned me on. I would watch her applying it while standing in front of a mirror. After finishing, she would turn to me and begin kissing me all over my face and neck.

One night we had a terrible argument after having too much to drink at a party. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but she had bruised my male ego.