General A-K

-- Author Unknown

Thanksgiving Day was near. The first grade teacher gave her class a fun assignment -- to draw a picture of something for which they were thankful.

Most of the class might be considered economically disadvantaged, but still many would celebrate the holiday with turkey and other traditional goodies of the season. These, the teacher thought, would be the subjects of most of her student's art. And they were.

-- Anonymous

-- Author Unknown

A little house with three bedrooms and one car on the street,
A mower that you had to push to make the grass look neat.

In the kitchen on the wall we only had one phone,
And no need for recording things, someone was always home.

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.

A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom.

Few women past the age of 40 give a hoot what you might think about her or what she's doing.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people.

Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

Nowhere will you find more truth and humor than the innocence of a child. Read what some children have said when approached with unique situations. ~~~~~~~ While I sat in the reception area of my doctor’s office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As …

A TRUE Story about Todd Beamer's final moments on Flight 93

-- Author unknown

"I don't think we're going to get out of this thing. I'm going to have to go out on faith."

-- Author unknown

Dear God,

A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After approximately 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about eight times.

At the ninth time he asks the little old lady why they do not eat the peanuts themselves, whereupon she replies that it is not possible because of their old teeth, they are not able to chew them.