Humor

This was submitted by a guy who purchased his lovely wife a small, pink "Pocket Taser" for their anniversary...

-- By Charles Sykes, from his book "Dumbing Down our Kids"

A TRUE Story... and one of the best Christmas stories you'll ever hear. 
It's an amazing story of a wealthy Philadelphia couple which organized a train composed of privately-owned railroad cars to carry wounded vets from Walter Reed Army Medical Center and Bethesda Naval Hospital to the annual Army-Navy football game in Philadelphia.

-- By Ronnie Polaneczky
For The Philadelphia Daily News,  published December 22, 2005

-- Author unknown (but he knows his Math ;-)

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her.

This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and gave the woman the finger.

"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:

Considering the times, some people have become half-hearted about their faith.
So, here are some standard church hymns as they may be titled today...

Amazing Grace, How Interesting The Sound

I Surrender Some
 
Fill My Spoon, Lord
 
Oh, How I Like Jesus

Joyful, Joyful, We Kinda Like Thee

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.

A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom.

Few women past the age of 40 give a hoot what you might think about her or what she's doing.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people.

Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

Nowhere will you find more truth and humor than the innocence of a child. Read what some children have said when approached with unique situations. ~~~~~~~ While I sat in the reception area of my doctor’s office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As …

In his beautiful book, “I Shall Not Want,” Robert Ketchum tells of a Sunday School teacher who asked her group of children if anyone could quote the entire 23rd Psalm. A golden-haired, four-and-a-half-year-old girl was among those who raised their hands. A bit skeptical, the teacher asked if she could …

God asked Adam, "What's wrong with you?"