Animals

The Talking Dog

A guy is driving around Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a house:
Talking Dog For Sale.

He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the Lab replies.

"So, what's your story?" the man asked.

-- By Rick Beneteau

Routinely, I rise out of bed before the birds, and watch the sunlight flood my office every morning. See, I love this time of day! But what I don't love is being rudely rousted out of a deep sleep before my normal rise and shine time, and every day for the past few months I have been.

By Robert McNeish, Associate Superintendent Baltimore Public Schools

We live in an area where geese are very common. We see them coming in the Fall and leaving early Spring. Their migration is an awesome sight. There is an interdependence in the way geese function.

FACT: As each bird flaps its wings, it creates an "uplift" for the bird following. By flying in a "V" formation, the whole flock adds 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew alone.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A SOUTH AFRICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You go on strike because you want three cows.

They get stolen, so you blame the previous regime and steal someone else's cows and shoot the owner.

A ZIMBABWEAN CORPORATION

A farmer has two cows.

• GEORGE W. BUSH
  We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

   

• COLIN POWELL
  Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

   

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By Roger Darlington

PLEASE READ AND SHARE THIS WITH ANYONE WHO HAS DOGS, ESPECIALLY SMALL DOGS - Another dangerous dog treat - from China. And it's all natural.

-- by David L. Kuzminski

By Bruce Lowitt

Realistically speaking, the 1973 Belmont Stakes wasn't a horse race -- unless you count the four thoroughbreds racing for second place. This third jewel of the Triple Crown was the coronation of Secretariat as the greatest race horse of all time.

He had won the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness, each time beating Sham by 21/2 lengths.

Now it was June9. Most of the bettors in the crowd of nearly 70,000 at Belmont Park expected the first Triple Crown winner since Citation in 1948. Secretariat was a 1-10 favorite.

By Roger Dean Kiser

This was the last litter of puppies we were going to allow our Cocker Spaniel to have. It had been a very long night for me. Precious, our only black cocker, was having a very difficult time with the delivery of her puppies.

I laid on the floor beside her large four-foot square cage, watching her every movement. Watching and waiting just in case we had to rush her to the veterinarian.