Humor

Funny short stories and jokes. Enjoy humorous stories to brighten your day.

The Yellow Shirt

bottom of a yellow shirt

-- Author Unknown

The baggy yellow shirt had long sleeves, four extra-large pockets trimmed in black thread and snaps up the front.  It was faded from years of wear, but still in decent shape.  I found it in 1963 when I was home from college on Christmas break, rummaging through bags of clothes Mom intended to give away.

"You're not taking that old thing, are you?"  Mom said when she saw me packing the yellow shirt.  "I wore that when I was pregnant with your brother in 1954!"

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A Horse’s Tail

two horses hind ends

-- Author unknown



Does the statement, "Because we've always done it that way"... ring any bells?



The U.S. standard railroad gauge (the distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number.



Why was that gauge used?



Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US Railroads.



Why did the English build them like that?

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Can’t Argue With Kids

Boy reading and book with Doves

The Sunday School lesson for the first graders was on the plan of
salvation. The teacher asked, "If I sold my house and my car, had
a big garage sale, and gave all my money to the church, would I
get into heaven?"

"No!" all the children answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept
everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"

Again, the answer was, "No!"

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Ear Infections

This may seem a little too risque to some, but it's so True... and Funny!

They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong... and sometimes it's embarrassing. ÔÇ¿ÔÇ¿There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it. ÔÇ¿ÔÇ¿

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Christmas Holiday Humor

Santa Cartoons

HAVE A HOLIDAY "HO-HO-HO!"

This guy goes into his dentist's office, because something is wrong with his mouth. After a brief examination, the dentist exclaims, "Holy Smoke! That plate I installed in your mouth about six months ago has nearly completely corroded! What on earth have you been eating?"

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Wisdom from Grandpa


Whether a man winds up with a nest egg, or a goose egg, depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries.

Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earnin' his salt, that he forgets his sugar.

Too many couples marry for better, or for worse, but not for good.

When a man marries a woman, they become one; but the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

If a man has enough horse sense to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she will never turn into an old nag.

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