Jokes

Reciprocating Dingle Arm – very funny!
 
Years ago, Rockwell International decided to get into the heavy duty transmission business. They were getting ready to tape a first introduction video, and as a warm up, the professional narrator began what has become a legend within the trucking industry. This man should have won an academy for his stellar performance. Now, remember... this is strictly off the cuff. Nothing is written down - this became the biggest talk in the industry vs the new product which they were introducing.

April Fools An atheist created a case in court against the upcoming Easter and Passover holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians, Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days. The …

Nowhere will you find more truth and humor than the innocence of a child. Read what some children have said when approached with unique situations. ~~~~~~~ While I sat in the reception area of my doctor’s office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As …

In his beautiful book, “I Shall Not Want,” Robert Ketchum tells of a Sunday School teacher who asked her group of children if anyone could quote the entire 23rd Psalm. A golden-haired, four-and-a-half-year-old girl was among those who raised their hands. A bit skeptical, the teacher asked if she could …

God asked Adam, "What's wrong with you?"

Before you read the jokes on this page about Happiness...
If you really want to be happy, don't worry... this is just for you!
Listen to this little tune Bobby Mcferrin wrote (and sang)... just for you...
"Dont Worry, Be Happy!"

On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves, and give milk to support the farmer I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life... you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty." And God agreed.

The Talking Dog

A guy is driving around Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a house:
Talking Dog For Sale.

He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the Lab replies.

"So, what's your story?" the man asked.

One day, in line at the cafeteria, Bob says to Stanley, "My elbow hurts like crazy. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

"Listen, Bob, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Stan replies.
There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars... a lot cheaper than a doctor."

HAVE A HOLIDAY "HO-HO-HO!"

This guy goes into his dentist's office, because something is wrong with his mouth. After a brief examination, the dentist exclaims, "Holy Smoke! That plate I installed in your mouth about six months ago has nearly completely corroded! What on earth have you been eating?"