Humor

By Taylor MaliÔÇ¿

He says the problem with teachers is, "What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?" He reminds the other dinner guests that it's true what they say about teachers:
Those who can, do; those who can't, teach.

I decide to bite my tongue instead of his and resist the temptation to remind the other dinner guests that it's also true what they say about lawyers.

Because we're eating, after all, and this is polite company.

"I mean, you're a teacher, Taylor," he says. "Be honest. What do you make?"

An elderly man in Louisiana owned a large farm for several years. 

He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe  courts, and some apple and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, to look it over, as he hadn't been there for a while.

Before he went, he grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

Reciprocating Dingle Arm – very funny!
 
Years ago, Rockwell International decided to get into the heavy duty transmission business. They were getting ready to tape a first introduction video, and as a warm up, the professional narrator began what has become a legend within the trucking industry. This man should have won an academy for his stellar performance. Now, remember... this is strictly off the cuff. Nothing is written down - this became the biggest talk in the industry vs the new product which they were introducing.

Author Unknown

Real teachers grade papers in the car, during commercials, in faculty meetings, in the bathroom, and (at the end of the six weeks) have been seen grading in church.

Real teachers cheer when they hear April 1st does not fall on a school day.

Real teachers clutch a pencil while thinking and make notes in the margins of books.

Real teachers can't walk past a crowd of kids without straightening up the line.

Real teachers never sit down without first checking the seat of the chair.

Parrott Attitude

A young woman named Jessie received a parrot as a gift many years ago. Over time the parrot developed an extremely bad attitude.
 
It got to the point that every word out of the bird's mouth was rude and obnoxious.  Jessie tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else she could think of to 'clean up' the bird's attitude and by then 'foul language.'
 

If you can read this story without laughing, it's a cryin' shame.  It got to where I could not see through the tears in my eyes.  But, I apologize in advance for a few off-colored words.

Remember... it takes a college degree to fly an airplane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a ‘gripe sheet,’ which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

April Fools An atheist created a case in court against the upcoming Easter and Passover holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians, Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days. The …

Pit-bull Attack in Florida

Let us introduce you to Robert Brault.  He is a free-lance writer who has contributed to magazines and newspapers in the USA for over 40 years. He offers his writings as entertainment only, promoting no agenda and no personal philosophy, but hopes you take amusement or inspiration from his words. We really enjoy his slant on life, love and laughter. Visit Robert Brault and his Blog at: www.robertbrault.com